Briefcase on the Kitchen Table

Ok, today it happened; in the mail I received my new little blue social security card. It looked normal enough; there at the top was the social security logo, then my number (wouldn’t you like to know), then “Christine”, an “E” for my middle name, and then there it was “Archer”. Christine E. Archer. Who is this person? She sounds nice, but I am not sure we have ever met. Then again, maybe she’s not nice. I mean, this bitch stole my social security number! Identity theft!

And that was it; a new name, just that easy. It is one of the oddest feelings in the world. Not bad but not particularly comfortable either. This has not been my first “holy cow I am married” moment, and I think that’s okay. I also don’t think that these moments mean I wasn’t ready or I was too young. I think it just means that this is something new and different. I had similar feelings when I became a teenager, graduated high school, and started college. The pastor who married Avery and I said in one of our pre-marital sessions that marriages and weddings come with a full range of emotions, not just happiness. There are nerves about all of the unknown, happiness about finding “that” person in your life, and yes, even sadness about what you are leaving behind. As I work my way through the newly-wed thing, I think I am starting to get it; marriage is not all about bliss but feeling the full range of emotions, and having someone there to share it with. And I mean ALL of it; the smiles, giggles, whining, pouting, unjustified bad moods, self-pity, and yes, even ugly-crying.

So, maybe it will continue to look like my last name is WArcher every time I have to sign something. Eventually I will stop accidentally putting the W. I am good with it though; it is just a sign of every wonderful, sad, shameful, proud, exciting thing I have come from and every thing I am going towards. There are moments of bliss, but it’s not all bliss, and this has nothing to do with how good or bad my marriage is (I think it is pretty stellar actually) and everything to do with the growing pains that come with any major change in life. So to everyone to whom I sign something WArcher, sorry I’m not sorry.