Briefcase on the Kitchen Table

Does anyone else feel as though Valentine’s Day snuck up on them this year? At some point last week Avery and I looked at each other and one of us said, “Oh shit, Valentine’s Day is next week isn’t it?” With eight V-days under our belts, they have taken many forms. Our first year Avery surprised me at my house with roses and then we went to dinner. For two of our years we haven’t been in the same state. Another year Avery made a flash video for me on YouTube and the link was written on my card. This year, Avery and I are both in the middle of hellacious academic schedules and barely seemed to notice the calendar flip from January to February. So what was Valentine’s Day to us this year? It was similar to every year before. While I am not a person who refuses to recognize the holiday for the belief that it is just a ploy to sell cards and chocolates, Avery and I have also never been people who buy huge expensive gifts and go to ritzy restaurants. (If you fit in either of these categories, this is not meant to judge, just to give a clear picture of what the day means to us.) Unlike anniversaries and birthdays (to a certain extent), the expectation has never been that normal life comes to a stand still for the day; we always adapt our little celebrations to whatever we have going on. This year that meant a small exchange of gifts; for Avery two seasons of Through the Wormhole by Morgan Freeman, for me a sweet card from Avery saying he knows I have been stressed lately accompanied by some bath salts and candles with a glimpse of relaxation on the horizon. V-day this year meant a Christine classic of a pre-made meal pulled out of the freezer and stuck in the oven, a quick treat run to Coldstone to use a soon-to-be-expired coupon, and a short dance in sweats and wool socks to Eta James and the Righteous Brothers. For us, life has never stopped on Valentine’s Day. In fact, things always seem particularly busy around this time. There are no fancy dinners, no diamond jewelry, and no sultry lingerie. Sometimes the best you can do is just take a few moments to slow down and make sure that the person or people who help keep you sane when things are busy know how much you appreciate it. Don’t focus so much on whether you think it is a holiday created by Hallmark or whether you should have gone for the 120 piece chocolate box. Instead, use the day as a reminder. Few of us ever say “thank you” and “I love you” as often as we should and taking a minute to be thankful and reflect on how lucky you are can rarely be bad thing.