Briefcase on the Kitchen Table

I apologize that it has been so long since my last post. Life sometimes gets in the way. I hope you like the new look of the blog; I was getting so many posts and comments, I needed a better format to organize it all.

So my mother warned me when Ave and I decided to get married that it would not take long for people  to start asking when Ave and I would want to start a family. Quite simply, I did not believe her. We were married relatively young and I thought this would give us a buffer of at least a few years. Well, per the usual, Mom was right.

I kid you not, the baby question came up THE DAY AFTER THE WEDDING. Hello people, can we at least finish the cake and let the flowers die first before you start asking me about my reproductive plans? I was baffled!

First, how is it anyone’s business? Here is my logic: would you ever walk up to someone and ask them if they are regularly having sex? No. Okay, next: would you ever ask someone what their contraceptive plans are? No again, and why? Because it is rude. Last and most importantly (kids stop reading at this point) how are babies made? That’s right. Asking someone if they are trying to have children yet is a really sugary way to ask the first two questions, which you should never ask.

Second (and more importantly) what on earth is the rush? Listen, everyone has their own plan for when they are going to do things but that plan is personal to that one individual (or couple). In a world where we are constantly being updated on the minutia of each other’s lives, it is really easy to find yourself wrapped up in keeping up with everyone else (like keeping up with the Jones’s, only with every life detail, not just money). Let’s not be so quick to check off the next thing on the list when we have so much right now to enjoy. I hope someday that Avery and I have a family, a large family, but right now I want to finish school, Ave to finish school, to travel, to enjoy life with my husband, to not know where we are going to live four years and love the adventure. I am enjoying all of these things right now. I acknowledge accidents happen and, as I told my mother one time when we were talking about this, babies can never be a bad thing (they are little gifts) but if I call her anytime in the next five years and say we are expecting, she should know it was not planned. I have a lot I want to do between now and then without  other people telling me to get a move on.

In this fabulous game of life, there is no card telling us to jump-ahead three spaces, and thank God.