Briefcase on the Kitchen Table

Hello Friends,

I am sorry I have not written in a while. The second semester of your last year of law school has proven to be the busiest.

With that said, it is hard to believe I am almost done. In just a  few days I will be done with all of my exams and in a few weeks graduation. Then will start a long summer of near-constant Bar Exam preparation culminating in the exam itself at the end of July. Moments like this always bring forced reflection on change and the passage of time and in this case how to deal with the fear of uncertainty.

Many of you know that my legal interests lie in the public criminal sphere. My plan is to work either in a Public Defender’s Office or a Prosecutor’s Office. Unfortunately these are not jobs that typically hire employees months out from when they are needed. Probability says that I will have to wait at least until I have taken the Bar and quite possibly until I find out if I have passed to get a job. This uncertainty, finishing the law school chapter of my life and not knowing what lies ahead, is terrifying to a planner  like me. This is especially nerve racking as the clock on the six-month grace period before student loans must begin to be paid starts its countdown. Financially the next six months will be the most challenging of my marriage so far but (at least for now) Avery and I have every intention of weathering the storm with grace when at all possible.

It is also amazing to me to look at the past. Avery and I were married on a Saturday, moved to St. Louis the next day, I started law school that Tuesday and in the now infamous story, our one and only vehicle was stolen that Wednesday. It was a whirlwind week. Moments of transition, like right now, make you wonder if you should have done something differently. There is no doubting that the summer between my college graduation and the start of law school was the busiest I have ever had. But I wouldn’t change a thing. I loved our wedding. It was perfectly us; comfortable, classic, and modest. I loved moving down to St. Louis to start Ave and my adventure together. Three years both being in grad school and in a big new city was like marriage bootcamp in the best possible way and I am more in love with my husband now than the day I married him. Starting law school and watching Ave start his PhD program was the scariest part of all of this. Graduate programs are not a 9 to 5 job in any way, shape, or form. Making time for one another has had to be a concerted priority for both of us every day (and some days it is just having the understanding that you won’t really see your spouse that day). My favorite part of the last three years (outside of growing in my marriage) has been the friendships. I was terrified when I left college that the college friendships that I held so dear would disintegrate the more miles that came between us. I am glad to report this has not been the case. The friendships have had to change but, in a lot of ways, I think they are even better They are not in anyway friendship out of convenient proximity that can tend to happen at college. They are real call-in-the-middle-of-the-night and fly-to-see-each-other kinds of friendships. We have also developed some great friendships with the school and church peers and  these relationships have been a bright spot. I would not change a thing about the last three years.

There is a lot of scary change on the horizon but I must say it is exciting. I will let you know how things are going along the way. Any and all encouragement is appreciated. Avery and I embarked on this crazy adventure nearly three years ago and I am thrilled to say it has not slowed down yet. For now I am going prep for my last two exams of law school EVER and chill the champagne.