Briefcase on the Kitchen Table

There is sacred space in any shared bed; the middle. Neither Avery nor I are “snuggle sleepers”. We are much more “if I can tell you are in the bed with me, you need to find another bed” kind of sleepers. Because of this, when Avery and I were shopping for furniture for our apartment, we knew a queen was the minimum size mattress we could get. We moved everything in and for the first time in either of our lives, began sharing a bed with another person. It is the same routine every night. We may snuggle in the middle of the bed for a bit while we talk about our day and  plan for the next; then it is flip time. This is when Avery flips over to face his side of the bed and I do the same. We remain that way until the morning; for our sleeping hours, it is as though the other is not even in the same bed. There have been a few times when I wake up and find Avery in the middle of the bed, but not often. The middle is sacred land; in essence, no man’s land. It is the neutral zone. Even when we have started to share our lives in entirely new ways by being married, I really think it is okay that some things are still just mine, even if it is something as simple as my sleeping space. It makes the snuggles that much more special. Sure we now share a bathroom, a last name, and sometimes even get caught in “we speak” (as in “we are so happy” or “we would love for you to come over”), but some things are still just mine; and some things are no ones, like the middle of the bed. Maybe that space will some day go to whichever one of us is sick, or having a particularly bad day, but in all likelihood it will remain a piece of neutral territory in our marriage. Maybe, when you get married it isn’t all “yours, mine, and ours”; maybe it is “yours, mine, and that which keeps us sane”.