Briefcase on the Kitchen Table

I was talking to a friend leading up to Avery and my wedding about all of the pressure to have the perfect, most beautiful, most extravagant big day. She pointed out (and I totally agree with her) that the worst thing a bride can do to themselves is look at bridal magazines. Why? Because the scenes and dresses in the magazines have quite literally no budget. Each farm-chic, winter-wonderland, and classic-elegance theme laid out on the glossy pages is put on with entire production crews, designers, wardrobe departments, and models. Most of us are not able to spend the kind of money it would take to hire such a crew for just one day, albeit an important day.

Avery and my wedding was no different. We had a conservative budget (we both have feelings about over-spending for a  one day event) but it was important to us that we be able to invite pretty much whoever we wanted because the most important thing to us on that day was having our friends and family around us. So now we had to pull off a wedding for 350 people at far less than $30 a head (and this meant $30 a head for EVERYTHING, not just food and drink; this had to include it all from the invites to the dress to the rehearsal dinner). This is how we pulled it off without feeling like we would change a thing.

The Initial Conversation 

One thing that really helped is we determined early on what our priorities were as far as spending money and quite literally wrote the list down and put it inside of the wedding binder. For us the top three priorities were food, booze, and music because if you get those three right, you have an awesome party. Whenever one of us would have a moment of “we just have to have that” the other would quickly refer back to the list and remind the gawker that this was not high on the list of priorities and we needed to pass it by. Beyond  this, there were a few areas that we were super cost-conscious about and helped a lot without making the wedding seem cheap. Spend in the right areas and save in the right areas and barely anyone will notice you didn’t spend a fortune. Here are some of my favorites.

Save-the-Dates/Invitations 

People can really break the bank on save-the-dates and invitations. You can save a TON on postage by doing a postcard save-the-date instead of one in an envelope. A postcard stamp is nearly half the cost of a regular mail stamp. Also, for invitations (sorry I don’t have a pic) we cheated and it totally worked! First, we ordered the main invitation, the RSVP cards, and the envelope from a stationary place. It was one of the simplest invitations they had and was on seasonal clearance. Instead of ordering more pieces for hotel/map information, we bought linen paper (available at any home office store) and did a simple quarter-sheet print out on the paper with the information using our regular printer. Since they were four-to-a-sheet, even with 175 invitations going out, it still only took less than 50 sheets of the paper (and the paper is only a few bucks more than regular paper but looks so much nicer!). Lastly for a pop of color, I bought a huge stack of 12×12 scrapbook stock (we used it for the table numbers, place cards, and “runners” as well). I cut one inch strips and folded it around the whole invitation packet like a belt and fastened one end of the strip to the other with a glue stick. It was a great pop of color! You could easily stamp this “belt” with a monogram if you wanted to as well. Also be careful about your invitation getting too chunky or heavy. Postage goes up if the envelopes weigh too much or can’t fit through a normal mail slot (your post office can check a sample for you to see if it will cost extra). We saved a lot here.

Getting Ready 

There is a lot of emphasis on how the bride looks. With this comes a lot of pressure to spend a lot of money on the dress, the hair, the makeup. I loved my overall wedding look and pulled it off pretty inexpensively.

First was the dress. My biggest recommendation on the dress is go in knowing exactly what you are comfortable paying. I went to several stores and told the associate helping me exactly what my budget was and to please, please not pull anything for me that was over that price. I had already resolved that any place that tried to put me in a more expensive dress because it was “just perfect” was not a store I would be buying from. Because of this there was no risk of me falling in love with a dress I wasn’t going to be able to afford. And don’t be afraid to give yourself a wake-up call/pep talk- it is a dress for one day and one day only.

Next was hair and makeup. I had six bridesmaids. There was not enough money in the budget to pay for everyone to get hair and makeup done and I wanted to spend that morning with my ladies, not bustling off to some salon while they all got ready elsewhere. All of us, bride included, did our own hair and makeup. It was actually really fun; we spent the morning getting ready in my childhood home, eating wonderful food my Mom and Dad had made, and sipping mimosas. We all looked fabulous and didn’t spend any money outside of a can of hairspray and a couple new make-up items.

Flowers

As Avery said, he wasn’t willing to pay thousands of dollars for a “one day garden”. We only spent money on “people flowers”; bouquets, boutonnieres, and family-flowers were it. Also get ready to do some footwork here. Consulting multiple florists and pricing out your options and exactly what you get for your money. For instance, do you have to pick up the flowers or will someone deliver them? A nice touch was the florist we went with came to the church, pinned each of the flowers on the guys (so they were all straight) and actually walked me to the end of the aisle carrying my bouquet in a towel so my arms wouldn’t get tired (those things are heavy) and there was no risk of getting water on my dress. She handed it to me right before the doors opened.  Also, get into the details. For instance, my bridesmaid bouquets were originally a little on the pricey end and I asked if there was any little tweak that could be made to get the price down. It turned out that by taking out one variety of flower each bouquet dropped in price quite a bit.

The Ceremony/People 

Consider who you know. Do you know some musicians? Readers? DJs? Photographers? Think of who you know and who you may be able to grab a family-and-friends discount from. Take this as far as possible. For instance all of our musicians were family members. The live music was a wonderful touch but also something we could not have afforded to pay for.

Favors and Getaway Bubbles 

I should qualify this by saying I am not a fan of bubbles. They look great in pictures but when you are there, it creates a bit of an awkward silence. Think about it; when you leave the church and you want everyone to be cheering and clapping they can’t. They are using their hands to hold the bubble wand and container and they are using their air to blow. It is a guaranteed way to have a near-silent exit.  Instead of bubbles we handed out noisemakers that are very inexpensive at a party-supply store. We attached a tiny piece of regular cardstock with purple yarn. The cardstock had our new address on one side (people send stuff after weddings) and “Make some noise for the Bride and Groom!!” on the other. They were so much fun and people kept using them throughout the reception! Also, unless you are doing some truly amazing favors this can be a place where people throw away hundreds of dollars.  Instead of favors we made a donation to the Ovarian Cancer Research fund and put out little table tents telling the guests that a donation had been made in lieu of favors to honor my aunt who had passed away. We saved a bit of money and also had some real good come out of the day beyond just two people getting married.

Transportation 

Another thing that was just not in the budget was renting/hiring any sort of transportation. Our hotel block, reception hall, and church were all within a few blocks of each other so that people could walk. For our “getaway” car we asked a family member with a convertible if we could use it the day of the wedding.

Decorations 

This was probably one of my favorite cost-cutting secrets. We did all of the decorations on our own and they were all set up and taken down by friends and family. We wanted lots of glass and candles for our centerpieces with touches of purple and ivory. We purchased tea lights, pillars, and floating candles wholesale. Then we shopped sales at craft stores getting pearl-webbing and purple ribbon half price to put in the glass and around the vases. Lastly, all of the glass was purchased over a period of months hitting different thrift stores; we were just picky about which ones we bought and ran them all through the dishwasher (made them look as good as new). As a result, every table had a beautiful and unique centerpiece! We finished with pieces of 12×12 deep purple cardstock for some color and left silver Sharpies at each table so that people could write us messages! It was great!

The Food 

The food was another trick; we could not afford a plated or buffet meal. However, we picked eight different “heavy” appetizers and placed them at different stations throughout the venue. This made people get up and see each other. We also put small plates at all of the stations so people took less. Many of our guests commented afterwards about how much they loved the “meal” even though they only had appetizers! The tricks was picking meal-like things (sliders, stuffed potatoes, etc) and having a caterer who was willing to work within our means and pull off the trick! Also, ask if you caterer supplies linens. They are way cheaper than using a party-supply service and are cleaned up without any extra labor from you.

The Booze

Just a few more tips: If your venue and caterer allows it, try to work directly with a liquor store for your bar service. They provide the staff and it is MUCH cheaper than getting booze through your caterer who adds their own charge on top of the cost of the drinks. Also, we had wine and beer and that seemed to suit everyone just fine. I wanted everyone to have a good time but things can get very expensive (and very drunk) when you go with an open bar.

The Cake

Cakes also can get very expensive. The biggest money-saver here is not demanding that the tiered-cake be large enough to feed every guest. For instance, to serve 350+ guests cake from one large tiered cake would have required five to six large layers, a very expensive cake. However, by agreeing to a still-striking but not overly large three-tiered cake, we saved a lot of money. We had  the baker bake sheet cakes with our same flavors and the kitchen crew cut up and served the sheet cakes right along with the slices of tiered cake. The guests didn’t even notice whether they were getting a piece of tiered cake or sheet cake but the sheet cakes were MUCH less expensive.

The Venue

We picked an old, naturally beautiful building (inside and out) for our reception, one that did not need very much decoration. Also, by going outside of a traditional wedding venue, the price was much, much cheaper. (We also were married at the church my family has attended my entire life so that made the church cost practically nothing as well)

Closing Thoughts 

BE HONEST. Know your budget BEFORE you start planning and work within it. The strategy I used at the dress store of telling them exactly what my budget and that it was a hard cap was a strategy we used time and time again.  We did this with nearly every vendor we met; the vast majority were happy to accept the challenge of working within our means. Never, ever feel like you have to apologize for your budget.

Also, ask for help. We had help on nearly every part of our wedding from set up to clean up to boarding my out-of-town bridesmaids. It not only helped us save, but made it special too. Throughout the day we were finding special little touches people had added, just because they loved us. Many, many people want to help make the day special for you, you just have to be willing to ask.

Lastly, don’t sweat the small stuff. For instance, I was all hung up on chair covers. The only chairs that came with our venue were metal folding chairs and I was not a fan. However, after pricing out everything from rentals to ribbons to chaircovers, we simply were not comfortable spending the minimum $450 extra. And you know what; I very much doubt many people remember what they put their butts on for most the evening.

That is the majority of it. We saved in about a million other little ways as well but these were some of my favorites. Feel free to comment on ways you saved on your big day. Avery and I were both very happy with how everything turned out and felt like we had been as socially responsible as possible (we both take issue with mega-weddings because of the waste). You don’t have to spend a year’s salary to have a great day; that isn’t what the day is supposed to be about anyway.